Many feelings.....

Today so fast thursday..till today still don't understand anything..even homework i copy only..then last tuesday phase test..i did ok..but i was damn nervous..face also nervous face..haha...then now about me and her..i dunno wad's happening..i hope u're reading this..first i wanna say thanks for everything..you still remember the 1st time,u are the one who add me at tagged..then u wanna get to know me..and we exchange msn and number..at days pass by,we decided to meet..then i was not myself cause i'm very shy so i mute..then we start to build feelings for each other..we wanna meet almost everytime..but i was busy with attachment..then i confess to you about my feelings..u did that too..then because we didn't meet and i was busy,u get to know that guy..minbo..then i heard u and minbo in a relationship..then i was very upset..but i let u go,cause i don't want to control you..but a few days later,u told me u can't take it to see me hurt..and u miss me..then after that we became together..then we were very loving..we go out and remember u bring me to meet ur family..i was so shy..then u told me that u hope next year is our year..then u remember the operation i told u..u didn't want me to go cause u cant afford to lose me as im ur life..then u want me to break up on the 5th and ask for patch on 6th of feb..cause u want our anniversary on dat date which is ur b'dae..it sounds ridiculous but since u want it,i can do that..but then y u changed?..why?..even if u wanna be straight,u can tell me..don't need to play timer..of cause i will set u free,as i say who am i to control u..im really disappointed with you..till today u didn't find me..ur ego is high..now i dunno wad's our status..if u want us to be over,i want u to say it..i dont want to say..cause i dun wanna hurt a gals feelings..2 times u did it to me..its enough..i dunwan the 3rd time..u told me how much u love me and care about me..1st day of school u msg and told me not to flirt around..but then u are the one..i noe u still have feelings for me,but u don't wanna tell me..cause ur facebook profile,still have ur picture with my name on it..shah property..so yah..i'm still waiting for u to say the words that we're officially over..where's all ur words gone??..haiz..actually there's more i can say,but i don't want..i dunwan to embarrassed u too much..i really love u,but then u hurt me deeply,and that makes me change my mind..cause im scared there will be a 3rd time..
then now my feelings for my crush even more..i love her..but im scared..cause i noe i cant get her..sigh....why i always being hurt..other butchs so easy..in a relationship for years..my members all..hmph...now im confuse..i will leave my gal..but i cant go on this way..gonna be hurt again..cause my crush is straight...too bad la shah..not ur luck..sigh...now i got so many feelings..stress,sad,hurt,confused even more..it seriously affecting my studies..i just try my best to cope it..